.. I know I'm supose to write things I dare but to day I freaked out and I'm wondering if I ever will find some one så perfect to be my prince charming.
I've told you about my up coming date this weekend and i felt so good and easygoing about the whole thing until 3,5 hours ago. After I talked to him. I have now a huge anxiety thats making me sweat and feel dizzy. How can I in one our feel that sparkling feeling in my stumach and the next moment just get out of my mind?
So I've read this book about relationship and ways to find a close loving relationship and stay with it. I can at least say I have issues with this! In the book they hade this great adwises what to do and one was about a car on the highway.
I should imagine I sat in a car driving on the highway and my only task was to keep driving and not turn off. On my right side I would se this signs with messages on it. The massages are reflections of my negative thoughts and I would read thm BUT not act on them.
So I'm amagine this now. I'm driving towards a unknown goal and all I have to do is to keep driving. I read the signs and this are the messages:
He is too young for you, he lives in Å - it says it all, he knows some of my former daters, he is a mothers son, he can't cook, he's probably not that active to do stuff, He'll be like my ex-boyfriend (bad thing), he will fool me and laugh behind my back, he just want to get layed, people around us will think`i'm weird being with a younger guy, if it's not working out I might to have to move, ofcorse he wouldn't like me, I'll get boored adventually and then I would hurt him anyway, I can't iagine us together, it feels wrong--then it is wrong, Logic, girl! Listen to yourself, turn away from the highway ore you'll be hurt. Listen to me, you are a fool, offcorse he doesn't like you and if he does he doesn't know what he's getting in to, maybe you should just spare him...ok?! Turn the next off before it's too late and you are stuck with a kid and a unsmart guy, You ar cheap, worthless and hopeless - accept that you are going to spend your life alone, because this is pathetic.
Holy banoly! That's a lot of negative thoughts and it's the first time I've wrote them down like this and can read them. I need to change this...There'll never be a guy perfect enough to be my prince charming.
I had this alter ego that I call bitter-Berit. Once upon a lifetime I created her to save me from getting hurt. And she helped me a lot, but the thing is that she now a days not only is saving me but protecting me from living life. And that's not what I want. I want love, I want to find true and longlasting love.
Please help me! Do you dear readers have any tip for me?
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