I finally find a normal guy who is interested in me and that I also find nice. And I meet him a month before he is moving to a place nearly 300 km from here. He meets me and decides that he want to give this place one more shot and tries to get his job back. But gets a NO!
Yesterday I dared to invite him for supper and a movie and I dared to tell him when it was time to go. I'm proud! I feel much more confident right now and a lot is thanks to my colluege but also to my self. He wanted to come to me late tonight but I turned to my heart and asked it what it felt. It was scared for not be able to say goodnight later. I want to get to know this guy in slowmotion and not fastforward everything because I can't say no. That's no longer my behavior.
I feel very scared and nervous around him and said that to him too. Also good for being me :). Now my defenses are kicking in and they are only letting me see all the things that are wrong with me seeing him. But I'm strong and I'm trying to do the opposit of what my fears are telling me to do but still what I want. It's a thin line between theese two.
And today I turned 26 and there is nothing to do about it. Feels good though! Everyone else is also old *mohahahahahah*
That was just a little update!
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